Marriage is hard

Today is our 13th wedding anniversary. We dated five years before we married. We've officially been with one another half our lives. Warning: This is not going to be one of those sweet and sappy anniversary posts.

To be honest, this past year has been the hardest year of marriage we've had. In almost every way, our roles switched. Something neither of us asked for or were prepared for. We struggled to navigate our new normal.

The truth is marriage is hard. Raising kids is hard. Jobs are hard. Relatives are hard. Bills and mortgages and finances are hard. LIFE IS HARD. I chose Brian to be my partner through this life. When something bad happens, he's the first person I want to call. When something good happens, he's the one I can't wait to tell. When I have acted unlovable, he gives me grace and continues to stay committed to me. When everything seems to be falling apart, he's the one I hold on to tight. While we are not responsible for each other's happiness, we are each other's biggest cheerleaders. Life is real and it's hard and, regardless of our differences, I'm really grateful I have him as my partner.

We enter marriage believing the myth that it will be blissfully beautiful, completely naive that it will also be very ugly. Brian has seen me at my absolute worst. There were times this year I found Brian so unlikable I wanted to scream. Marriage can be ugly, but it can also be amazing. Knowing that someone has seen you at your worst and still wants to stay with you IS amazing.

Tonight we are feeding and bathing kids instead of enjoying an anniversary date, but that's perfectly ok. Tonight I hope Brian and I remember we won't be stuck in this weird place forever. We must not confuse one hard year with a lifetime. All trials have an expiration date. We will continue to grow. Life will change. Things will work out. Days will get better. We will endure the tough times together. And more importantly, we will get through them together.